Category Archives: Marvee thoughts

Letter to self.

Dear self

I am truly honored and shocked at the same time, that I am writing this letter to you. 

Before everything. Please love yours. life is just the way you see it, I know and believe that you have to  live and accept the way it is.

Take it as the beginning, you have nothing, yet you have to build something out of nothing. Don’t blame anyone or anything, rather blame your self cause you alone. If you lonely create your self out of your self and live with yourself.

This is your Genesis. Write your book. Start your own family. Remember you are  your bother, your sister, a mother and a father to your self. Innovate because you got nothing to renovate. Explore unto your self  because you may never know what you capable of. Learn your self. If you want to fight, fight your self.

Remember you are alone, So where are you seeking help from? Seek it unto your self first before going external. You are powerful than you can imagine. Internal power. 

What have you created to your self that you cannot fix.? Self destruction. (OMS) Oh My self. Look what have you done. You have build alot external but you failed to build your self internal . Poor self. You really need self-actualization, self-esteem, Self-employed. 

You have been selfish to your self that you cannot do anything for self.  You are crazy now I know. I should  be calling you stupid ,  You son of your self.  Mybe you need to relocate back to where you come from you don’t belong here. 

I am sorry, but I am mad at you. Can’t you at least prove your self if you really are your self. I am starting to feel like you somebody else. If you are, then that’s taboo to your self.

I am tired of seeing you acting and pretending not to be your self.

Please find it in your heart to forgive me if this is harsh to your self. Honestly I can’t lie. I love you, I miss you and I need you.

Self regards,






I should be sleeping or just do my canvassing work, or maybe even read my comic book of Black Panther. Listening to the Kendrick Lamar (Pray for me). Who does pray for me? Who cares to waste or invest time in praying for me. Sometimes I fail to even pray for my self. I will be lying if I say I dont need one.

I am not use to be this lonely, but who cares if I am lonely or even alone for that matter, because even me my self I don’t know what to do about it. I can’t go out this late, not beacuse I am bounded or something. Truly speaking I can’t ignore the fact that my streets needs a hero. To save who? Cause nobody want to die for somebody else. This is the streets not Marvels, you get killed outche.


Ok. Hold up!!! I will be the hero. So you mean I should save ass from the dirt. Remember I am also trying to be clean. It’s not funny. Mr Bean could probably save your ass from the dirt. I can imagine, Mr Bean the hero.  

Back to the reality where I don’t know what to do with all this pressure.  If it was high school I would increase the volume. I wonder if that still makes sense to me, or it’s just words. If I told you I am stressed right now would you believe me or you would assume I am bored and my fingers are inching to type.

No.  Not all.  I have alot I could be doing right now. Things like wash my socks, prepare my uniform for tomorrow. Hahahahaha as if I like being in uniform. One friend of mine once said people who wear uniform are struggling in life. I had to laugh about it in a long run. I started analyzing that. But hmmmmm, hard to swallow. What do you think about that?? Are you also wearing  uniform or u just wear what you dreamt about or what your wife thought you could wear tommorow?? 

This is not novel neither nor short story. But I call it ‘The Time Mover’  (TTM).  Making sure I don’t sleep early cause if I do I will wake up late  or too early to even prepare my self for uniform work. You ask me how is work I say is fine. What you expect.? You got a better offer.? Or you just applying the TTM towards me.

I have alot of contacts on my WhatsApp and Facebook etc. all the social network. But mmmm it’s just a waste of time. I rather tickle my fingers and get my brain some challenge. It does like to work then. Great thing it does not wear no uniform. It is an all rounder. My perfect Job title of all times.

I like to move around in a circle of time. My reason is I hate to be blank. I like to learn from the next person, that’s my TTM.












writing was never on my To-Do list.

hate-to-writeI know writing was never something I could ever like, as I always ask my self “Write for what?” I never gone to see the reason why I should write. Living the life that I have or the life that I had, with so many thoughts that I couldn’t hold any longer,  or didn’t know how to turn them to words, then remembered that I love painting, and if I can paint with a brush, then for sure I can paint using words some of my pictures.  “VIVID PICTURES”


As for me I teleport through words, that was what I always thought before I started rapping, yet didn’t know  how to go about it, I teleport through none existed and make it exist the second I start rapping, I caught my self seeking at my own living room as if No 1 seeing me,  hence forgetting that I see my self battling with the other me. Facing fear I never foreseen, seeing pictures of me killing “I”My self. The love that I know and the pain that I endure left me with a smile full of scars, no wonder now when I do anything, I find it hard to look back as I have now know, backwards or forward you still pay a price. Remember I was already in a move of taking things out, started hearing voices on the walls talking to my thoughts, and I didn’t want to interfere as I trying so hard not to make noise and mess up the process of taking things out, then something hit the wall on my head. The truth hit me so hard  I recall; I CANNOT LIE TO MY SELF.

Even this time around I didn’t have the motivation to write, or maybe I didn’t have the love to write. Then I recall that not everything you like or love you can have or own it or maybe know how to operate, or know how to do it. Having acquired the insight within my self motivated by other people with sameness perception of striving to be YOURSELF

People become competent to love new things as they grow or encounter the world they live in. I starting reading blogs. However most of the blogs I get in contact to, find them too long for my concentration span. Then I asked my self, Do this people read all this long blogs? Then I answered my self with a huge space of doubt,  Then I told my self if you like what you are writing then it is yours to look back in to in the future, That is why I also emphasize that you be your self to love your blogs.  I have been trying  to learn how  to read appropriate to understand  the context  because now I know what you are reading can draw your attention to even go deeper, special when you relate to a post.

At the end of the day you cannot make everyone like your post but if you like what you are writing about and have the meaning of what you are portraying to the people it is a lot more easy to face your keyboard or have your pen racing on your paper with no stop. I started using writing as my best friend, to listen on what I have to say at that moment without thinking if people will love it or not, because I do this for me. DO IT FOR YOU.

Being a father at my early 20,s really did motivated me in pursuing my writing so that when my baby grows she can have access to the information I wrote which can in future change her way of thinking or reviewing the world. Even now I still don’t know what I like the most as I find my self doing a lot of things specially when they interest me, afterwards I find my self bored at what I am doing I jump on to the next thing. 5 days later or more I look back to see what I was trying to do.

Knowing how to do a lot of things is very good but it hurts when you don’t know what is it that you really good at.


Selling products to people wasn’t really something I could say I always loved, yet I did find my self selling products to people. All I knew, I  had a way to communicate with people, but I’ve never seen it to a point were I will be selling them items or maybe selling my services to people.

After my parents broke up when I was still young the need to start selling was there for me. But I couldn’t take it as I have grown pride, and fear at same time. What will this girls think of me, I didn’t know much better that girls love a guy with money or maybe a guy who can afford because I was still young, only having the mentally that if you handsome, further know how to talk, you can get anyone to fall for you. Little did I know that it only worked well when I was still young and my age group also didn’t know that much.

Things changed every quick and money is at the front line of every young adult, there I am still battling with my pride and fear of what would they say about me? what happened to me? what went wrong with me? Only to find out I was losing the people I loved, and I couldn’t find the answers to that. Began to accept that I started at the top and went back down, now trying to find my way back to the top have all the money even though it can never be enough, just like pouring water on top of a duck hoping it will be wet.

This time around I go house to house sometimes advertising, selling and buying things, resale them after being fixed or manufactured. I now don’t have a problem on doing that because I know the world of business is full of products to sell and services to offer.

Currently I sell paint and paint houses, and the selling skill has just matched me but took me years to notice that I can be a best seller and offer great services to the people. I was a bit shy before but It was not paying for me to be shy, and this people will never stop talking, so I decided to keep walking in building a fine life of my baby regardless of people say.

I still believe I have some time to cover up all this lost years of ignorance, fear, and pride. I didn’t know it was wonderful to be your self. Until I accepted myself solo unique in a presence of hundred thousand people. I  accept my self as the only one who can love me more than anyone could.



EVANESCENT: daylight not enough.

woke up very early this morning  just to see that daylight even longer than I use to. It was safe to be walking in a place with daylight, but not anymore in my neighborhood. The is no love out the streets  it has faded and fading  soon to vanish and disappear like it never  existed.

This image brings sight to my knowledge that we humans need light cause we soon to be evanescent species.





Worse great pain in the world could be addiction, as you know it tells you what to do and maybe sometimes when to do. Many cases you do without even thinking, Its addiction.Other times you don’t know why you doing it, and when you are doing it,because it is just as permanent as a tattoo, none the less we know even tattoos can be removed nor replaced.

Still writing about addiction, I don’t know if my statement can be 100% true, as I believe that everyone has an addiction. It is because Addiction gives meaning to life? Can I conclude by saying addiction is another word for love or pain? Because someone might love the addiction whiles on the other hand somebody else might hate the addiction.

They say it is crazy when you can’t control something. Just like we cannot control the climate change, so that is crazy cause it is beyond our control, so do we let the nature play its part? Or fight against nature like we always do.Addiction can be crazy to control, actually in short it is Crazy.

You didn’t know people travel because of the their addiction, not only they just addicted travel but addicted to fulfilling their Addiction( tourism need to put that on consideration, the reasons why people travel). Can Addiction be fulfilled? Or it is just transformed to be habituated for a short while.

I can assure you, someone out there can pay you to get rid of their Addiction. Some instance they can pay you to motivate their Addiction. For sure some kill for the Addiction. Further more some can heal with their Addiction.

What’s a up this Addiction, it has many sub-stories underneath.

What can you say about your addiction?