Letter to self.

Dear self

I am truly honored and shocked at the same time, that I am writing this letter to you. 

Before everything. Please love yours. life is just the way you see it, I know and believe that you have to  live and accept the way it is.

Take it as the beginning, you have nothing, yet you have to build something out of nothing. Don’t blame anyone or anything, rather blame your self cause you alone. If you lonely create your self out of your self and live with yourself.

This is your Genesis. Write your book. Start your own family. Remember you are  your bother, your sister, a mother and a father to your self. Innovate because you got nothing to renovate. Explore unto your self  because you may never know what you capable of. Learn your self. If you want to fight, fight your self.

Remember you are alone, So where are you seeking help from? Seek it unto your self first before going external. You are powerful than you can imagine. Internal power. 

What have you created to your self that you cannot fix.? Self destruction. (OMS) Oh My self. Look what have you done. You have build alot external but you failed to build your self internal . Poor self. You really need self-actualization, self-esteem, Self-employed. 

You have been selfish to your self that you cannot do anything for self.  You are crazy now I know. I should  be calling you stupid ,  You son of your self.  Mybe you need to relocate back to where you come from you don’t belong here. 

I am sorry, but I am mad at you. Can’t you at least prove your self if you really are your self. I am starting to feel like you somebody else. If you are, then that’s taboo to your self.

I am tired of seeing you acting and pretending not to be your self.

Please find it in your heart to forgive me if this is harsh to your self. Honestly I can’t lie. I love you, I miss you and I need you.

Self regards,







Ready???…. Yes I am ready, but having a zero- zero balance in my account makes me not ready yet. R0.00 no this can’t be true.  All I know the future is exciting, as my words and thoughts be running at a speed of light.

Alan Knott-craig that’s how I feel many times.  Hold-up, he was always ready.  Majority now are not ready yet, with such attitude we are going to drop In the hands of dragon burning up to 40°-90° degrees.

Second is nothing. You should know by now.  Being first is the exciting part of all times. Craig can explain that feeling better. I also been first few times. You know why And how.? I was sourounded by like minds.  I am sorry to say this the future is to be somehow. Yes exciting for a few.

I can imagine you going for fishing with no net or string. Or going out for a long walk with no water to drink. I doubt you will reach the destination alive.  Just like canvassing with no data or airtime. IMAGINE THAT. HOPE YOU ROGER THAT.




I should be sleeping or just do my canvassing work, or maybe even read my comic book of Black Panther. Listening to the Kendrick Lamar (Pray for me). Who does pray for me? Who cares to waste or invest time in praying for me. Sometimes I fail to even pray for my self. I will be lying if I say I dont need one.

I am not use to be this lonely, but who cares if I am lonely or even alone for that matter, because even me my self I don’t know what to do about it. I can’t go out this late, not beacuse I am bounded or something. Truly speaking I can’t ignore the fact that my streets needs a hero. To save who? Cause nobody want to die for somebody else. This is the streets not Marvels, you get killed outche.


Ok. Hold up!!! I will be the hero. So you mean I should save ass from the dirt. Remember I am also trying to be clean. It’s not funny. Mr Bean could probably save your ass from the dirt. I can imagine, Mr Bean the hero.  

Back to the reality where I don’t know what to do with all this pressure.  If it was high school I would increase the volume. I wonder if that still makes sense to me, or it’s just words. If I told you I am stressed right now would you believe me or you would assume I am bored and my fingers are inching to type.

No.  Not all.  I have alot I could be doing right now. Things like wash my socks, prepare my uniform for tomorrow. Hahahahaha as if I like being in uniform. One friend of mine once said people who wear uniform are struggling in life. I had to laugh about it in a long run. I started analyzing that. But hmmmmm, hard to swallow. What do you think about that?? Are you also wearing  uniform or u just wear what you dreamt about or what your wife thought you could wear tommorow?? 

This is not novel neither nor short story. But I call it ‘The Time Mover’  (TTM).  Making sure I don’t sleep early cause if I do I will wake up late  or too early to even prepare my self for uniform work. You ask me how is work I say is fine. What you expect.? You got a better offer.? Or you just applying the TTM towards me.

I have alot of contacts on my WhatsApp and Facebook etc. all the social network. But mmmm it’s just a waste of time. I rather tickle my fingers and get my brain some challenge. It does like to work then. Great thing it does not wear no uniform. It is an all rounder. My perfect Job title of all times.

I like to move around in a circle of time. My reason is I hate to be blank. I like to learn from the next person, that’s my TTM.













Selling products to people wasn’t really something I could say I always loved, yet I did find my self selling products to people. All I knew, I  had a way to communicate with people, but I’ve never seen it to a point were I will be selling them items or maybe selling my services to people.

After my parents broke up when I was still young the need to start selling was there for me. But I couldn’t take it as I have grown pride, and fear at same time. What will this girls think of me, I didn’t know much better that girls love a guy with money or maybe a guy who can afford because I was still young, only having the mentally that if you handsome, further know how to talk, you can get anyone to fall for you. Little did I know that it only worked well when I was still young and my age group also didn’t know that much.

Things changed every quick and money is at the front line of every young adult, there I am still battling with my pride and fear of what would they say about me? what happened to me? what went wrong with me? Only to find out I was losing the people I loved, and I couldn’t find the answers to that. Began to accept that I started at the top and went back down, now trying to find my way back to the top have all the money even though it can never be enough, just like pouring water on top of a duck hoping it will be wet.

This time around I go house to house sometimes advertising, selling and buying things, resale them after being fixed or manufactured. I now don’t have a problem on doing that because I know the world of business is full of products to sell and services to offer.

Currently I sell paint and paint houses, and the selling skill has just matched me but took me years to notice that I can be a best seller and offer great services to the people. I was a bit shy before but It was not paying for me to be shy, and this people will never stop talking, so I decided to keep walking in building a fine life of my baby regardless of people say.

I still believe I have some time to cover up all this lost years of ignorance, fear, and pride. I didn’t know it was wonderful to be your self. Until I accepted myself solo unique in a presence of hundred thousand people. I  accept my self as the only one who can love me more than anyone could.



Signs that shows you have interest else where.

You been in a relationship for a decade or maybe lets say a couple of years, it could be few months now. and you know every well you love your spouse, husband  or your girlfriend/ boyfriend,  but you find your self in mixed,  where you find your self getting attached to somebody else, We all know that is like eating junk food, it is nice, but is it healthy? definitely No, however most can prefer that.

Lets say lately you been wanting your partner to behave in a way that your colleague, classmate church mate does, for those reason it shows that you are interested in how the other carries his/her self.

In other times you spend more time replying messages, emails, calls quicker than you do when you reply your partner. I have seen some checking out the next  guy or girl in the streets while walking with their partners, and most times it causes havoc in the relationship specially if caught red handed checking out the next person.