writing was never on my To-Do list.

hate-to-writeI know writing was never something I could ever like, as I always ask my self “Write for what?” I never gone to see the reason why I should write. Living the life that I have or the life that I had, with so many thoughts that I couldn’t hold any longer,  or didn’t know how to turn them to words, then remembered that I love painting, and if I can paint with a brush, then for sure I can paint using words some of my pictures.  “VIVID PICTURES”


As for me I teleport through words, that was what I always thought before I started rapping, yet didn’t know  how to go about it, I teleport through none existed and make it exist the second I start rapping, I caught my self seeking at my own living room as if No 1 seeing me,  hence forgetting that I see my self battling with the other me. Facing fear I never foreseen, seeing pictures of me killing “I”My self. The love that I know and the pain that I endure left me with a smile full of scars, no wonder now when I do anything, I find it hard to look back as I have now know, backwards or forward you still pay a price. Remember I was already in a move of taking things out, started hearing voices on the walls talking to my thoughts, and I didn’t want to interfere as I trying so hard not to make noise and mess up the process of taking things out, then something hit the wall on my head. The truth hit me so hard  I recall; I CANNOT LIE TO MY SELF.

Even this time around I didn’t have the motivation to write, or maybe I didn’t have the love to write. Then I recall that not everything you like or love you can have or own it or maybe know how to operate, or know how to do it. Having acquired the insight within my self motivated by other people with sameness perception of striving to be YOURSELF

People become competent to love new things as they grow or encounter the world they live in. I starting reading blogs. However most of the blogs I get in contact to, find them too long for my concentration span. Then I asked my self, Do this people read all this long blogs? Then I answered my self with a huge space of doubt,  Then I told my self if you like what you are writing then it is yours to look back in to in the future, That is why I also emphasize that you be your self to love your blogs.  I have been trying  to learn how  to read appropriate to understand  the context  because now I know what you are reading can draw your attention to even go deeper, special when you relate to a post.

At the end of the day you cannot make everyone like your post but if you like what you are writing about and have the meaning of what you are portraying to the people it is a lot more easy to face your keyboard or have your pen racing on your paper with no stop. I started using writing as my best friend, to listen on what I have to say at that moment without thinking if people will love it or not, because I do this for me. DO IT FOR YOU.

Being a father at my early 20,s really did motivated me in pursuing my writing so that when my baby grows she can have access to the information I wrote which can in future change her way of thinking or reviewing the world. Even now I still don’t know what I like the most as I find my self doing a lot of things specially when they interest me, afterwards I find my self bored at what I am doing I jump on to the next thing. 5 days later or more I look back to see what I was trying to do.

Knowing how to do a lot of things is very good but it hurts when you don’t know what is it that you really good at.



Selling products to people wasn’t really something I could say I always loved, yet I did find my self selling products to people. All I knew, I  had a way to communicate with people, but I’ve never seen it to a point were I will be selling them items or maybe selling my services to people.

After my parents broke up when I was still young the need to start selling was there for me. But I couldn’t take it as I have grown pride, and fear at same time. What will this girls think of me, I didn’t know much better that girls love a guy with money or maybe a guy who can afford because I was still young, only having the mentally that if you handsome, further know how to talk, you can get anyone to fall for you. Little did I know that it only worked well when I was still young and my age group also didn’t know that much.

Things changed every quick and money is at the front line of every young adult, there I am still battling with my pride and fear of what would they say about me? what happened to me? what went wrong with me? Only to find out I was losing the people I loved, and I couldn’t find the answers to that. Began to accept that I started at the top and went back down, now trying to find my way back to the top have all the money even though it can never be enough, just like pouring water on top of a duck hoping it will be wet.

This time around I go house to house sometimes advertising, selling and buying things, resale them after being fixed or manufactured. I now don’t have a problem on doing that because I know the world of business is full of products to sell and services to offer.

Currently I sell paint and paint houses, and the selling skill has just matched me but took me years to notice that I can be a best seller and offer great services to the people. I was a bit shy before but It was not paying for me to be shy, and this people will never stop talking, so I decided to keep walking in building a fine life of my baby regardless of people say.

I still believe I have some time to cover up all this lost years of ignorance, fear, and pride. I didn’t know it was wonderful to be your self. Until I accepted myself solo unique in a presence of hundred thousand people. I  accept my self as the only one who can love me more than anyone could.



EVANESCENT: daylight not enough.

woke up very early this morning  just to see that daylight even longer than I use to. It was safe to be walking in a place with daylight, but not anymore in my neighborhood. The is no love out the streets  it has faded and fading  soon to vanish and disappear like it never  existed.

This image brings sight to my knowledge that we humans need light cause we soon to be evanescent species.




Street Art, this is a is picture drawn by Kenett Ndlovu, I remember that Ndlovu means Elephant, as you can see the visual picture of the Surname. The skin of an Elephant is used by many fabric Manufactory companies, for its thick texture very strong for the Manufacturing good quality shoes, bags, jackets and other products that I haven’t mentions.

Mr Kenneth’s work of art is seen as the skin of that Elephant, with the strength to fit in your shoe with quality that only a few know what to do with it and turn it to Gold.

I feel like I relate, the fact that the skin of an elaphant is strong to walk through deep forest and out with minor or no bruses, This goes for you too, those 2 sharp horn, is the weapon in you that can Peirce down lions, tigers and bears.

You are one of the Big 5 as you know an Elaphant is part of the Big 5, I can image if it was representing your financial status you would be on the Top 5 richest men in the world


Swati langague says Indlovu Lenkulu, meaning “Big Elaphant”, Could it be true thatElaphants during that period are more by size or more by weight or maybe more by population.


If you have been, or heard about swaziland. The Mother of the King is called Indlovukati meaning Female Elaphant, as it is seen giving birth to a lion which is how they visualize him.

Elephant Park.

Around South Africa, under (Mpumalanga) province, within Mbombela region down to Nkomazi district, base in  (Magweni) bears the name of an Elaphant, This Animal in most African, Asian countries know more about the value of an Elaphant, in brief the whole world see the value of an Elaphant, Some countries like the United states of America it is illagal to killing Animals this include the Elaphant so today you kill one of us you see many of us, I can conclude strongly by saying THE MORE YOU KILL THE MORE WE GROW, like March We Big Elaphants, You can trumple obstles down when you move with people with input force of an Elaphant.

Ice age

Have you watch Ice age movies, of a jungle life of animals with sub-main characters of Elaphant life, you see where he protects his family he can actually demonstrate what Elaphant can do. Obviously not talking, however they have a way of communicating that can only be understood through daily basis to observe and learn, as you know they can be taught too because they are intelligent to learn.


Signs that shows you have interest else where.

You been in a relationship for a decade or maybe lets say a couple of years, it could be few months now. and you know every well you love your spouse, husband  or your girlfriend/ boyfriend,  but you find your self in mixed,  where you find your self getting attached to somebody else, We all know that is like eating junk food, it is nice, but is it healthy? definitely No, however most can prefer that.

Lets say lately you been wanting your partner to behave in a way that your colleague, classmate church mate does, for those reason it shows that you are interested in how the other carries his/her self.

In other times you spend more time replying messages, emails, calls quicker than you do when you reply your partner. I have seen some checking out the next  guy or girl in the streets while walking with their partners, and most times it causes havoc in the relationship specially if caught red handed checking out the next person.




Worse great pain in the world could be addiction, as you know it tells you what to do and maybe sometimes when to do. Many cases you do without even thinking, Its addiction.Other times you don’t know why you doing it, and when you are doing it,because it is just as permanent as a tattoo, none the less we know even tattoos can be removed nor replaced.

Still writing about addiction, I don’t know if my statement can be 100% true, as I believe that everyone has an addiction. It is because Addiction gives meaning to life? Can I conclude by saying addiction is another word for love or pain? Because someone might love the addiction whiles on the other hand somebody else might hate the addiction.

They say it is crazy when you can’t control something. Just like we cannot control the climate change, so that is crazy cause it is beyond our control, so do we let the nature play its part? Or fight against nature like we always do.Addiction can be crazy to control, actually in short it is Crazy.

You didn’t know people travel because of the their addiction, not only they just addicted travel but addicted to fulfilling their Addiction( tourism need to put that on consideration, the reasons why people travel). Can Addiction be fulfilled? Or it is just transformed to be habituated for a short while.

I can assure you, someone out there can pay you to get rid of their Addiction. Some instance they can pay you to motivate their Addiction. For sure some kill for the Addiction. Further more some can heal with their Addiction.

What’s a up this Addiction, it has many sub-stories underneath.

What can you say about your addiction?